


Shoulders

by brickbabe



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Massage, NSFW, Stress, naked, sensual
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-25
Updated: 2017-05-25
Packaged: 2018-11-04 17:26:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10995534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brickbabe/pseuds/brickbabe
Summary: "Go to sleep, Shepard... Close your eyes.”"They are closed.""No they aren't""how can you tell?""I just can."Kaidan knows how to take care of his CO. And that thing he can do with his hands? priceless





	Shoulders

 Kaidan Alenko was many things, but a liar he was not. Seeing Shepard again, he had to be honest with himself. He remembered all of her nervous tells. The way she drummed her fingers on tables, her leg, her gun holster. She cleared her throat too often. Her left eye would start to twitch if a conversation went on too long. The shoulder rolling, the neck rubbing. On their first tour, one of those tics by itself meant that the Commander was under-rested, over-worked, or stressed. He hadn't noticed during their quiet conversations at Huerta, or during their tense standoff with the Council, but back on the Normandy, he saw all of her tells rise to the surface within five minutes of talking to her. 

 He made the mistake of asking if she was okay in the middle of the CIC and earned himself a clenched jaw and a surprised expression, which only highlighted the blood vessels visible in her eyes. 

 "I'm fine, Major. If you don't have any reports to file, you should head down to Engineering. Adams could always use a hand." 

 "Yes ma'am." Right. He'd forgotten; it wasn't his place to ask that anymore. 

 Or so he thought. She sought him out in the observation deck later in the night cycle and they talked. About the war, about Earth, about his students, his family. 

 It felt like there was more she wanted to say, but after a silence than lasted a beat too long, she excused herself. 

 "I should go." 

 He watched her leave, wanting to tell her to take care of herself, to get some sleep. He knew she'd only tell him she was fine, only push him farther away, so he stayed silent. 

  


 She didn't look any better rested when she found him in the crew quarters to talk, or when he finally got her to meet him at Apollo's for lunch. He thought she might actually have a heart attack when he kissed her hand. She was clearly tired, but she looked at him with unmistakable hunger. She damn near carried him back to her quarters after they ate, and she passed out for a couple hours in the afterglow. So there was a way to get her to rest without bruising her pride. 

  


 Kaidan had figured she wasn't sleeping enough, but he found out just how much she wasn't sleeping once started inviting him up to her cabin. He never woke up with her still in bed, usually finding her either working at her desk or already showered, dressed, and commanding the CIC downstairs. Apparently it was still an improvement, however, which he found out after talking to James over poker one night. 

 "The Commander really is something, isn't she?" 

 Kaidan chuckled. "You could say that again." 

 "I don't know how she does it. I hardly think she sleeps. I was worried there for a while, but she's been better lately." 

 "This is better?" 

 "Oh, _a huevo._ You know those scars she has? The glowy ones?" He dragged a finger down the side of his own face to indicate. 

 "the Cybernetics?" 

 "Yeah, those. They were getting real bad. Started making her eyes red" 

 "Like, bloodshot?" 

 "No, I mean like... glowing. red." 

 "That bad?" 

 "Oh, yeah. I think having you around has helped. Fellow Spectre, former teammate. Takes some of the stress off." 

 Kaidan did not make a face. "Glad I can help, I guess." 

  


 After receiving the call from the Quarian Fleet, Joan didn't bother to hide her stress. Dark circles made themselves more pronounced below her eyes, and he could tell the nights she hadn't slept from the wrinkles in her unchanged uniform. he made sure to pull her from news vids and writing reports so that she ate regularly, and became less cautious about sharing quarters with her, just to make sure she was sleeping. 

  


 once the Normandy had set the course for Rannoch, he managed to distract her for a few hours. the blissful afterglow of their exertions faded after only a few minutes,and Kaidan could feel her getting antsy in his arms. She reached back and squeezed his ass. He apprehended the wandering hand and pressed a gentle kiss to its knuckles. Her skin was rough, and he curled her arm underneath his own against her chest. 

 "Try and get some sleep, Shepard." 

 "I am asleep." she said, moving her hips very intentionally against his groin. 

 He stilled her hips with a gentle hand. "No, you're not. You need to rest, Joan." 

 For a few minutes she was silent, but still twitched and fidgeted. 

 "Close your eyes.” 

 "They are." 

 "No they aren't" 

 "how can you tell?" 

 "I just can. Go to sleep." 

 "I'm not tired" 

 "we both know that's not true." 

 "I'm stressed, then. I can't sleep." 

 "lay on your stomach." 

 "why?" 

 "Just trust me. you'll like this." She rolled and he straddled her hips. he ran his hands once soothingly down the skin on her back, then thumbed along the base of her spine. She felt more stone than muscle. 

 "Holy hell, you're tense." 

 She scoffed. "what do you expect?" 

 "Fair enough." he worked at her back for a moment before asking "you have any lotion?" 

 "Bedside table, top drawer." 

 He leaned rather precariously to reach it, then poured some into his hands to warm it before sitting back on her hips and rubbing it into Joan's back. 

 "What's keeping you awake?" 

 Shepard huffed out a deep sigh. "these governments are going to kill me, Kaidan." 

 "Yeah?" 

 "We needed the krogan in this fight, but getting them involved only took doing favors every other goddamn council race--you can press harder than that-- but it can't stop there, oh no." 

 "Of course not, there's only a galaxy-ending war on. No need to let go of squabbles." He leaned into the heels of his hands and began working his way up her back. 

 "The quarians could not have picked a worse time to retake Rannoch, I mean, I get it. If it were Earth... but they could have done this a year ago, but now we have to work around the heretics, too-- oh, right there, that's perfect-- next the Batarians will want something from me, just wait... Its frustrating." her speech slowed as her muscles began to relax. "The geth consensus wants peace, freedom to just... _be_. But if the quarians don't...can't...want help... have to talk..." her words slurred together. "th' admirals… board, th'... hands." 

 Words failed her entirely when Kaidan reached her shoulders. He grinned and leaned into her knots. 

 She closed her eyes. 

 "That's it." he said. "Just relax." 

 She grunted softly in response. The tension in her shoulders slackened and Kaidan did his best to work out the knots there. The skin beneath his hands was almost as he remembered; soft, strong, and covered in tattoos. The list of names running down her right side looked like it had gotten longer. Occasionally he ran gentle fingers over the breaks in her skin where the glow of cybernetics showed through, or the bumps below the surface where implants plugged into her spine. The shine of young scars and the push and pull of her muscles as she breathed fascinated him in the low light. 

 "Your scars are different." 

 She nodded vaguely and mumbled something incoherent. 

 "Cerberus?" 

 She nodded again. 

 "They put your tattoos back." 

 "Jus' the ones...my service file." 

 "I remember one particular scar here." He pressed his thumbs into the base of her neck and she moaned. Goosebumps raced across her back and he grinned. 

 "Good?" 

 She hummed. 

 Kaidan worked her neck for a while, gently massaging at the base of her skull, then moved to her arms, pressing and stretching the muscles. he rubbed the digits of each of her hands carefully before moving backwards and holding her feet in his lap. He put more lotion on his hands and rolled the sore tendons beneath his thumbs. His hands glided over her heels and he squeezed the substantial muscle of her calves beneath his palms, bending forward to kiss the backs of her knees. 

 Shepard had amazing legs. Naked, the dense muscle curved and gave strength to her natural confidence, enticing him to lose himself between her toned thighs. Even wrapped up in fatigues or a hardsuit, that strength made her graceful, and during missions he sometimes found himself admiring the ease with which she moved. not hulking or halting, but lithe and seamless, even while creeping behind cover. Kaidan took his time, knelt between her legs and massaged up the vast muscle of her thighs, taking each one between his hands and pressing against her. As he ran hands along the insides of her legs, he was astonished at the moisture that had gathered at their peak. 

 "Wow." He said."You, uh, really liked your massage." 

 She hummed. "You gonna do something about that, Major?" 

 "Not tonight." He pressed a brief kiss to her temple and kept rolling the smooth muscles beneath his hands. 

 "Tease." 

 He kept massaging her legs, and Joan was silent for long enough that he thought she'd passed out, so Kaidan lowered himself back down next to her and carefully pulled her against his chest. She stirred and rolled over, brushing her fingers down his side and pressing warm, soft kisses to his neck and chest.

 "Can't just leave a girl hanging"

 "My mistake." he kissed her back and pulled her closer, tracing her spine with light fingers. She stopped moving and her breathing slowed into the rhythm of sleep. He smiled and tucked her head under his chin and followed her to sleep.

  


 He often feared for how much of her would be left by the end of this war. she had taken the weight of the galaxy onto her shoulders and if he could lift some of that burden, even just for one night, the odds of her coming out alive by the end of this got better. they had to. Right? He swallowed hard and hugged her gently closer. For now, he would settle for one more night with her. One more night that she slept all the way through.

**Author's Note:**

> First ever post on AO3! Yay! This started out as pure comfort but then it needed backstory and it got a little out of hand. Enjoy!
> 
> criticism welcome!


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